Life?? *sigh

 My life is a mess now. Not knowing what to do, or what should I do. I hope that everything will be okay, I prayed that nothing serious will happen. Worrying isn't the best thing. I have no position and no power to stand up for anyone even if I wish to. I'm sorry to cause trouble for everyone. I know sorry doesn't mean anything.


To survive in this world is not easy....Obstacles are everywhere, following and hunting you. It will never stop until the day you die. Things are hard for me, never felt like this before. I don't feel any stronger but I feel weaker and weaker, in both physical and mental. Wondering how am I going to go through this.... I'm strong but this time, I am not that strong. I cannot overcome my feelings and can't even comfort myself.


 The pain in my heart made me feel so numb. Tears are shed, but it is still the same. Nothing changes. It used to be better after I cried but this time, it doesn't feel any good. It only makes me sleepy and not wanting to do anything. I felt like I'm useless, not fit to be living in this world. But, what can I do? Nothing. I felt so hopeless. 


Heard from Nicholas that the audition for singing competition will be on Friday. According to what he say, only 6 people are chosen. It feels weird... Not knowing whether I get it wrong or not, not really hearing what he said. By the way, I haven't even get my lyrics memorise and haven't even start practicing it. There is always something happening everyday, every hour, every minute and every second. 


Actually, I don't even feel like continuing my life. How I wish I could just end here. But if I do that, I am really stubborn. Only stubborn people do that. Besides, if I leave this world suddenly, how bout those people I cared and loved? I will miss them. I don't want to be separated forever.


The word FOREVER only exists in dictionary. It doesn't exist in our life. There's no such thing as forever. Nobody will end happily forever, it is impossible. Planning our future is useless. There's no need to plan our future. A single second could ruin all your plans. It really will.