My life is a mess now. Not knowing what to do, or what should I do. I hope that everything will be okay, I prayed that nothing serious will happen. Worrying isn't the best thing. I have no position and no power to stand up for anyone even if I wish to. I'm sorry to cause trouble for everyone. I know sorry doesn't mean anything.
To survive in this world is not easy....Obstacles are everywhere, following and hunting you. It will never stop until the day you die. Things are hard for me, never felt like this before. I don't feel any stronger but I feel weaker and weaker, in both physical and mental. Wondering how am I going to go through this.... I'm strong but this time, I am not that strong. I cannot overcome my feelings and can't even comfort myself.
The pain in my heart made me feel so numb. Tears are shed, but it is still the same. Nothing changes. It used to be better after I cried but this time, it doesn't feel any good. It only makes me sleepy and not wanting to do anything. I felt like I'm useless, not fit to be living in this world. But, what can I do? Nothing. I felt so hopeless.
Heard from Nicholas that the audition for singing competition will be on Friday. According to what he say, only 6 people are chosen. It feels weird... Not knowing whether I get it wrong or not, not really hearing what he said. By the way, I haven't even get my lyrics memorise and haven't even start practicing it. There is always something happening everyday, every hour, every minute and every second.
Actually, I don't even feel like continuing my life. How I wish I could just end here. But if I do that, I am really stubborn. Only stubborn people do that. Besides, if I leave this world suddenly, how bout those people I cared and loved? I will miss them. I don't want to be separated forever.
The word FOREVER only exists in dictionary. It doesn't exist in our life. There's no such thing as forever. Nobody will end happily forever, it is impossible. Planning our future is useless. There's no need to plan our future. A single second could ruin all your plans. It really will.
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
Sunday, August 21, 2011
Sunday, 21/8
What a tiring day.... Sunday has finally come to an end. Tomorrow is Monday, yay!! I prefer weekdays rather than weekends. Helping my mother today as usual. Having a hard time doing things fast. Blame my weak muscles, every part of my body was suffering including my butt. Even sitting on a chair requires some time.
During afternoon, I get to meet someone. I think he looks smart in plain white long sleeve shirt and blue jeans. Anyway, it wasn't that fun but I felt happy. Saw his brother too. I personally thinks he looks better than his brother. He gave me something and when I get to know the content inside, I was thinking, this boy is really unique. No one will ever give me that as a present, even my parents.
Waiting for the time to get home, it finally arrives. Reach home, walking up the stairs, my legs and butt hurt so much. The song that I compose haven't even completed. Lazy to compose it these days... So lazy of me, not knowing when exactly I can finish composing that song of mine.
This is what I have gone through today. Weekends are always boring for me. It had never been interesting. Today was special, I wasn't that boring for that mere few minutes. I wonder when will weekends be more interesting........
During afternoon, I get to meet someone. I think he looks smart in plain white long sleeve shirt and blue jeans. Anyway, it wasn't that fun but I felt happy. Saw his brother too. I personally thinks he looks better than his brother. He gave me something and when I get to know the content inside, I was thinking, this boy is really unique. No one will ever give me that as a present, even my parents.
Waiting for the time to get home, it finally arrives. Reach home, walking up the stairs, my legs and butt hurt so much. The song that I compose haven't even completed. Lazy to compose it these days... So lazy of me, not knowing when exactly I can finish composing that song of mine.
This is what I have gone through today. Weekends are always boring for me. It had never been interesting. Today was special, I wasn't that boring for that mere few minutes. I wonder when will weekends be more interesting........
Saturday, August 20, 2011
When I was young, time passes slow. Everything seems like it was on slow mode. An hour seems like a week. One day, I asked my mother, "Mum, why does time passes slow?" My mum replied, "It is because you're still young. When you feel like time passes like the speed of light, it means that you're matured."
When I was in Primary 6, I feel that time passed so fast. After finished Primary 6, I'm telling myself to get better marks and score straight A's in my PMR. In a few blinks, I had finished Form 3. Going to Form 4, a thrilling sensation pricks upon me. Telling myself I'm gonna strike for the best this time.
Entering Form 4, motivating myself to study hard. Next year, I will be sitting for SPM. It was January by then, but now it is August. By the way, September is coming in no time. Time flies. They don't wait for you, never. Treasure every second of your life, don't waste it.
When I was in Primary 6, I feel that time passed so fast. After finished Primary 6, I'm telling myself to get better marks and score straight A's in my PMR. In a few blinks, I had finished Form 3. Going to Form 4, a thrilling sensation pricks upon me. Telling myself I'm gonna strike for the best this time.
Entering Form 4, motivating myself to study hard. Next year, I will be sitting for SPM. It was January by then, but now it is August. By the way, September is coming in no time. Time flies. They don't wait for you, never. Treasure every second of your life, don't waste it.
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
First of all, Angeline, I would like to thank you the most. You are the one always supporting me when everyone is ignoring me and disapprove with what I have done. You are the savior of the Secret 7 group.
Second, Kim. I know you cared for me too much and I keep disappointed you. Sorry for that, but this is because you don't know the meaning of love and you never felt it before, that's why. You can describe me with anything you like, but one day, when you actually fall in love, you will understand. I will not held a grudge on you. I will still support you and stand by your side.
Sorry for not mentioning the other 4. Thanks for all who cared for me. I really appreciated it.
By the way, I am really happy now. I never felt so happy in my entire life. Thanks for all the advices that you all gave.
Being with Terence is not that bad actually. He treat me well and care for me. When I worry for him, he always told me not to worry and fake a smile to ease me. Besides, he never leave me alone no matter how busy he is. He don't make me jealous or drink ethanoic acid. This is what I like best about him.
I know there are people who talk bad about me but I will choose to ignore them. I can't control their mouths. Everything will be okay and will always be. Think positively and you will get what you want. Be optimistic, that's what I told myself.
Second, Kim. I know you cared for me too much and I keep disappointed you. Sorry for that, but this is because you don't know the meaning of love and you never felt it before, that's why. You can describe me with anything you like, but one day, when you actually fall in love, you will understand. I will not held a grudge on you. I will still support you and stand by your side.
Sorry for not mentioning the other 4. Thanks for all who cared for me. I really appreciated it.
By the way, I am really happy now. I never felt so happy in my entire life. Thanks for all the advices that you all gave.
Being with Terence is not that bad actually. He treat me well and care for me. When I worry for him, he always told me not to worry and fake a smile to ease me. Besides, he never leave me alone no matter how busy he is. He don't make me jealous or drink ethanoic acid. This is what I like best about him.
I know there are people who talk bad about me but I will choose to ignore them. I can't control their mouths. Everything will be okay and will always be. Think positively and you will get what you want. Be optimistic, that's what I told myself.
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Motivating myself~~
Day by day, I am becoming lazier and lazier. Going to motivate myself to study harder and work harder on poorer subjects. However, everytime I reach home, I could not stop myself from pressing the 'on' button of my laptop.
Going to Form 5 soon and I still haven't master all the subjects. Dreaming of my future how it will be, rather than studying hard now. Should throw away this bad habit. It would only lead me to failure. If you fail to prepare, you prepare to fail, a quote from Dr. Fong, the CEO of RRSS.
Starting from tomorrow, I should study hard and complete my homework before I play.
My aim for Semester 2 exam:
1) No RED colour marks is allowed
2) My average- minimum 80%
3) Improvement in all subjects
Hope the desire for playing computer could be control. Hope that I can get flying colours for every test.
Going to Form 5 soon and I still haven't master all the subjects. Dreaming of my future how it will be, rather than studying hard now. Should throw away this bad habit. It would only lead me to failure. If you fail to prepare, you prepare to fail, a quote from Dr. Fong, the CEO of RRSS.
Starting from tomorrow, I should study hard and complete my homework before I play.
My aim for Semester 2 exam:
1) No RED colour marks is allowed
2) My average- minimum 80%
3) Improvement in all subjects
Hope the desire for playing computer could be control. Hope that I can get flying colours for every test.
Monday, August 15, 2011
Memories~~
For me, most of the memories I had are happy moments with those who I cared and loved. Sometimes, reminiscing those memories made me smile. Guess I'm smiling like crazy when I thinking bout the happy moments of the past.
Living in those memories are not good either. You will never face reality if you buried yourself in memories. Remembering the past can aid in reflecting the flaws in one self but indulging yourself in memories will drive you crazy.
Going to end here. Not writing much as I was choosing a topic randomly.
Saturday, August 13, 2011
Updating my blog for the second time, I have my own reason for doing so.
I try not to feel a thing. I try to act normal. I try not to care anything. I try to smile. I try not to worry about you. I convinced myself by apprising myself that you're okay. Everything will be fine. Despite the pain, I smiled yet the emotion that appears on my face is not smiling.
I feel so lost when I'm worried. Seems like you love rain so much, huh? Maybe I am the one who started all this. Shouldn't have existed in the first place, luring trouble for you. Sorry about everything I had done, this is all I can say. I couldn't take back my words, actions and all the deeds. Sorry that I intruded your life.
I just can't stop myself from caring about you. You're a significant person for me. My mood was totally ruined, even standing upright need strenuous effort.
P.S Don't ask anything. Don't ask why, how, and what happened. I'm not going to answer. I feel really down and I need some place to let out what I feel. That is why I updated the second post.
I try not to feel a thing. I try to act normal. I try not to care anything. I try to smile. I try not to worry about you. I convinced myself by apprising myself that you're okay. Everything will be fine. Despite the pain, I smiled yet the emotion that appears on my face is not smiling.
I feel so lost when I'm worried. Seems like you love rain so much, huh? Maybe I am the one who started all this. Shouldn't have existed in the first place, luring trouble for you. Sorry about everything I had done, this is all I can say. I couldn't take back my words, actions and all the deeds. Sorry that I intruded your life.
I just can't stop myself from caring about you. You're a significant person for me. My mood was totally ruined, even standing upright need strenuous effort.
P.S Don't ask anything. Don't ask why, how, and what happened. I'm not going to answer. I feel really down and I need some place to let out what I feel. That is why I updated the second post.
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